Full-Spectrum Inclusion: Gender Inclusion

 

I want to start this post with the common rebuff from the trans community (of which I am a part); "Everybody has a gender!" I can't, however, because that isn't true.

Gender isn't just the "polite" substitute for "sex-as-adjective".  Gender is a psycho-emotional sense of something that is true about oneself.  Truth is not subjective, which is where the complexity of "gender" comes in - because "psycho-emotional sense" sounds very subjective - it's "just peoples' feelings!" 

Except it's not.
What gives psycho-emotional sense its claim to being objective truth is that it is made manifest in the way a person interacts with their society, and invites that society to interact with them.  
Psycho-emotional sense may go through a period of flux - which, after all, is what puberty is for most people, and what menopause and andropause are for many people - but, in the end, after between 3-7 years, it settles into a consistent position.

But not everyone has a psycho-emotional sense of gender, and those people need to be considered for any gender inclusion to be worthy of the name. They must be considered for inclusion to be "full-spectrum".

Agender is the formal term for people who genuinely do not have a psycho-emotional sense of themselves beyond the biological correlates of their known genitalia; they have a penis, therefore they are a man.  They do not have a penis, therefore they are a woman.  The words "man" and "woman" identify the parts they have, or do not have, and nothing more. They have no feelings about having the parts they do, they don't attach especial significance to their parts.  

They typically prefer that people interact with them as their job role, their personal interests, their competencies, because it makes no sense to them that "has a penis"  or   "does not have a penis"  would have any relevance to interpersonal reactions beyond sexual intercourse.

Agender people can often appear "transphobic" when gender is being discussed, particularly in corporate settings; however, transphobia (the dislike of and objection to trans people as an entire demographic) is a choice.  The reactions of agender people to discussions of gender is an instinctual, unconscious response of "But this is wrong!" - when you object to someone saying, for example, that "numbers are a kind of food", you haven't thought "I hate numbers/food" - there's no real conscious thought, just an immediate "but they're not!"

Likewise, this is why agender people may appear to be aggressive in their response to questions around pronouns, perhaps saying things like "Well, obviously - (gender-congruent pronouns)!" - they don't necessarily have a problem with pronouns; they simply don't have a concept  of them as something other than a way to communicate "has a penis"/"does not have a penis."   Their presentation will be congruent with their genitalia, and therefore, to them, it is "obvious" what their pronouns would be.

There is an argument to be made that, perhaps, the majority of people are actually agender, not cisgender. (Cisgender = the person's psych-emotional sense of themselves matches their genitalia, and their birth-assignation.)  This position may also explain the increase in people who insist that they don't have to alter their presentation to change their gender identity, because "gender is a construct" - to an agender person, it fundamentally is. It's not a truth, which means it is "whatever you want it to be."

Including agender people, in any conversation around gender, means opening with: "Some people will simply feel that what's relevant is their genitalia, while others will have wider-ranging feelings that inform what they consider relevant; both positions are valid, both are correct for those experiencing them, and therefore in a wider position; you don't have to understand everyone's position, but you do need to treat your colleagues with respect and courtesy, and with due regard to their positions."

Having a psycho-emotional sense of gender, or not, is not a "choice" someone makes.  It is as natural and intrinsic a fact about them as their blood type or chromosomes, and for those with a strong psycho-emotional sense of gender, it can be extremely distressing to have that objective truth denied.

This denial isn't just "misgendering trans people"; it can be using a single default pronoun to "include everyone".  It can be insisting on gendered uniforms which are ascribed by genitals or birth certificates.  It can be discussions which centre personal experience as consistent gender experience.

Now you understand just a little of the considerable complexity of gender, we'll move on to exploring straightforward ways that your organisation or team can be more gender-inclusive.  

. Team Greetings should be gender-neutral - "folks",  "people",  "team",  "colleagues",  "crew". Many people actually dislike being referred to as "guys" when there are women present, many women dislike terms such as "ladies" or "girls" - and this is very exclusionary in "female-dominant" teams which have one or two male colleagues.  Laughingly saying "You can be an honorary girl!" is not inclusion - you've made it clear that the only gender you recognise is "female."

. Normalise not using honorifics (Sir/Madam) when addressing customers, etc - simply politely, and with a light friendliness, ask "How can I help?" If your organisation is obliged to be very formal, and use honorifics, centre them on someone's clothing and style choices, which often convey their identity, whether rooted in biology, or in psycho-emotional sense.  Do not think "Well, a tall person with a deep voice must be a man, even if they're wearing a dress!" (I've known many tall, deep-voiced women. If I hadn't transitioned, I would have been a 6ft tall woman with a low tenor voice...) If you genuinely "can't tell" - use terms such as "my friend",  "patron",  "my guest".

. Be aware that all sexes may require specific, sealed disposal for hygiene products in public and company toilet facilities. Not just because "oh, yeah - trans men", but because people may need to dispose of continence pads/pants, and wet wipes, if they are dealing with IBS, or need to clean ports for stoma bags, or even simply prefer cleaning with wet wipes; these things cannot be flushed.

. Avoid insisting on gendered uniforms. Simply require everyone, at work/school, to wear trousers, a button down shirt, and a sweater, in a specific colour and style. 
(This also helps to reduce incidents of some forms of sexual harassment, such as "upskirting", and avoids resentment from boys/men around the greater "freedoms" women and girls appear to have in "relaxations" around their gendered dress code in summer months.)

. Stop talking about "masculine energy" when you mean "direct communication, and a focus on doing, rather than talking about doing".  Likewise, stop calling your team or organisation (or, indeed "the future") female-focused, when you mean compassionately collaborative, centred in extended communication and working as a cohesive group in a non-competitive way.   

And recognise that not all people you will identify as "masculine" will communicate directly, or be action-focused, just as not all people you will identify as "female" will be collaborative and non-competitive.  If those people themselves identify as "masculine", or as "female" - that's what they are, their working and communication styles notwithstanding.

. If you're setting up a "menopause wellness" group - set up a wider wellbeing group.  Not everyone who experiences menopause will find it an intolerable trial.  Many people who will not experience menopause still have ongoing health challenges, which do impact their work, but do not prevent them working, and which they'd like to be able to seek out peer support for, rather than any request for support being met with a meeting between them, Occupational Health, and HR.

If someone asks for a desk fan, they shouldn't have to "be going through menopause" to justify it - anyone can be hypersensitive to heat. Anyone can be in need of improved air flow.

Equally, however, be aware that the use of desk fans brings a need for a more intensive cleaning regime; fans blow dust around, and dust allergies are highly impactful; in the UK, an estimated 12million people suffer from dust allergies, and dust also exacerbates conditions such as asthma, COPD, and impaired lung function.

. Consider use of language in job adverts, etc.  Words such as "bubbly",  "outgoing",   "personable",   "friendly",   "lively" typically make masculine people (not "just men") feel that they are not wanted, as they are perceived more as feminine traits.
In contrast, words such as "ambitious",   "go-getting",  "work hard, play hard", convey a desire for masculinity, and exclude feminine people.

Instead, try talking about what outcome is required: Eg:
"We're a busy nightclub with an energetic vibe, and an appeal to a young, sensory-seeking, moneyed crowd, and we're looking for bar staff who can give our guests an experience which surpasses excellence, keep service flowing smoothly, even at the busiest points of the night, and create a relaxed, welcoming, friendly vibe for our guests." 

Or

"Our teams have to meet high standards with consistency, and often against significant time pressures. We need people who can maintain focus for prolonged periods, who can work with minimal stimulation, and who are willing to give more, in order to get more."

If this brief overview of the landscape of gender inclusion has made you feel you'd like some professional support to help your team, organisation, or business become fully gender-inclusive, reach out to us; we can offer remote support starting from just £45.00

Email us: theproductivepessimist@yahoo.com