Pride, Done Professionally, Made Personal

Pride isn't just about slapping rainbow stickers on things, hiring flamboyantly gay or visibly trans influencers, and doing 'awareness training.'

As businesses and leaders, Pride month should be where your LGBTQIA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual/Aromantic, and other non-cishet identities and experiences) colleagues guide you in the groundwork that needs to be done for lasting change.

Stonewall wasn't just a random incident of civil disobedience; it was the detonator blast that broke ground to begin to build a new way of being human, and a new way of seeing and welcoming other human beings.

LGBTQIA+ Inclusion For Life, Not Just For Pride
There are things which are a common, unconscious part of how people who are not LGBTQIA+ behave and set up the world, especially in workplaces, which, unintentionally, exclude LGBTQIA+ people, especially those who are also experiencing financial challenges, and/or have intersectional disadvantages, such as disability, working-class heritage, kinship care responsibilities, and global majority ethnic heritage.

Some examples of how you can ensure barriers to genuine welcome are removed for good, not just for Pride, include:

. Having a gender-neutral uniform code, eg; "Plain black trousers, flat black shoes, and branded polo/sweatshirt, or plain white/black shirt; no more than one earring per ear, no rings other than wedding/engagement rings, minimal makeup, no coloured nail polish", rather than detailing separate expectations for men and women, leaving trans people often feeling and anxious about, and being at risk of bullying for, wearing the uniform that connects to their gender.

. Including sanitary waste bins in all toilets;  you may be absolutely certain that you don't have any male-identified people who menstruate, but you may have men who use incontinence pads/pants, and would appreciate somewhere to dispose of them.  Men, particularly in very hot weather, my feel the need to use wet wipes to 'freshen up' downstairs, and will need somewhere to dispose of wipes, which shouldn't be flushed down the toilet.  And, finally - you won't always know who is or isn't trans, and you certainly won't know whether members of your team are intersex.  

. Not doing 'lads' nights' or 'girls' nights' - if people want to arrange these themselves, make it clear they are welcome to do so outside of working hours, and to not make it obvious they're inviting some people and not others. (Eg, inviting all the women in the office except a trans woman, or a femme-aligned nonbinary colleague, at a time when people are 'not in the office', but everyone from the office is present, and would know whether they'd been invited or not.)

If you are organising work events, keep it neutral (and also try and avoid food-centred events, as these can cause wider issues for people):
Some suggestions:
> Visiting a local funfair
> Bowling
> Visiting a local museum or attraction
> Going to the cinema, and watching a film with broad appeal
> If people are really set on having food, do a 'secret chef' - each person puts the title only of a recipe in a hat, and whoever draws it out brings their interpretation of it, ideally free of gluten, dairy, nuts, and soya (common allergens.) This also gives people a glimpse into the lives and backgrounds of their colleagues, and sparks more engaging conversations!

Be aware that it is better to either have leadership cover the cost of group work activities entirely, or to have a 'PayDay Pot', where everyone adds £5 (no more, no less) on your company's payday, which builds towards group days out, and the inevitable birthday/redundancy/baby shower demands, which can be stressful for those with more financial demands.

. Not making references to being a "female/male-dominated" workplace/sector - this includes not referring to particular communication styles in gendered ways - eg, instead of 

"As a man, you're naturally quite direct, and that doesn't really work in a female-dominated environment, because women don't communicate in that way", simply say: "Some people find it difficult to engage with you, because their communication style isn't as direct as yours, and they feel that you're being aggressive; do you know how to adapt your communication style, or is this something you'd like some support with?"  

Many neurodivergent women have a direct communication style - it's not "how men communicate", it's "how some people communicate". 

. Using gender-neutral mass greetings. Examples include:
> Team
> Crew
> Folks
> People
> Colleagues
> Everyone
(This isn't just about LGBTQIA+ people - men working in female-dominated spaces get very tired of just being expected to put up with "right, ladies - oh, and Bill! You can be an honorary lady, ha-ha!")

. Not asking about peoples' partner, or whether they have children. Again, this benefits people beyond those who are LGBTQIA+ - peoples' personal lives aren't any of your business. If they choose to talk about their partner, or their children, that's fine - but don't question if they mention multiple partners; polyamorous people aren't being unfaithful, and the fact that Jessica went on holiday with her wife, Brenda, last week, and is now planning on having a mini-break to visit her boyfriend Tom in Leeds doesn't mean Brenda and Tom are completely unaware of each other, or that Jessica is going to leave Brenda.

. Make menopause support part of a wider, inclusive package of diversity and health support. Trans men go through menopause and puberty simultaneously when they start testosterone therapy. Trans women who are on HRT can experience menopause symptoms if that medication regime gets out of balance. Nonbinary people who go through menopause may not feel comfortable in a female-centric space, but may still need to access support.  

People of all genders and experiences who live with chronic health issues and disabilities are increasingly frustrated that menopause and maternity are given 'special treatment', while they are accused of 'not wanting to work', coerced into offering their resignation 'because you'd be a lot more able to manage things if you didn't have to think about work, wouldn't you agree?',  getting dismissed for having 'too many days off because of illness', or simply expected to 'push through, because everyone is tired and run down!'

. Recognising that lived experience in areas centred by Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion is experience. A disabled trans person of colour knows far more about addressing systemic injustice than a white, able-bodied cisgender woman who happens to be going through the menopause, and has a recognised EDI qualification.

There are many other issues around employment which impact especially on trans, non-binary, intersex, and polyamorous people, as well as potentially the wider LGBTQIA+ community; unfortunately, these tend to relate to statutory obligations, such as Equality reports, Right to Work documentation, and pension beneficiaries, which individual companies are less able to address.  However, as businesses are listened to a lot more than individuals by any stripe of government, communicating the need for change in these areas, and being led by staff who are impacted by them, would go a long way towards building trust.

There also needs to be a 'zero-tolerance' policy on abrasive, othering, or discriminatory language, and on discussion of politics, which is often quite unsettling for a range of marginalised people, who are often the most impacted by political agendas. No one should ever have to see a headline on their way in to work in the morning, and immediately dread continuing that commute, and walking into their workplace, because they know the direction that workplace conversation is going to go.

People have the right to their opinions, but, if other people are denied the right to leave the situation, opinions which centre on personhood and identity should be put on pause until the situation is one that those who are upset by particular attitudes can choose to leave.

The Productive Pessimist Ltd have inclusion consultants who have lived experience of trans manhood, trans womanhood, bisexuality, asexuality, and sexual-violence trauma backgrounds.

If you feel we could offer unique insights that would benefit your business, reach out to us: Email theproductivepessimist@yahoo.com
or call us on 0748 2017 927 (Tues-Fri 8.30am-6.30pm, Sunday 9.30am-1.30pm)