TW: Discussion of systemic transphobia, Discussion of racism
"How can a trans woman be CEO of an endometriosis charity?!"
Well, the head coach of the England Women's Rugby team is a male-identified, cisgender (assigned male at birth) man.
The CEO of the RNIB isn't blind.
CEOs of anti-poverty charities are certainly well-remunerated enough to not actually be in poverty. Most have never experienced hardship, having danced from Executive post to Executive post, before eventually landing as a CEO.
The upside of being a pessimist is you spend so long looking at problems that you gain an intuitive awareness that, very often, the thing being presented as "the problem" isn't, in fact, the real issue that needs a solution.
In endometriosis, the (very real, for those who suffer from the condition) issues of medical fact would be fairly straightforward to address.
The problem is medical disinterest, and, very particularly, the attitude of the medical profession that "women exaggerate pain and discomfort, because they're too sensitive." If those experiencing endometriosis (who may or may not identify as women, or who may prefer that other people don't identify them as anything, even if they themselves are comfortable with being women) were listened to and taken seriously by doctors from the very beginning of their journey of trying to resolve medical issues, the experience of endometriosis would be a lot less life-shattering than it often proves to be for sufferers.
Trans people - especially trans women - have considerable experience of being dismissed and treated negligently by the medical community. Given that the element of a disability organisation CEO's remit, of advocating for systemic and policy change, will centre on a drive to create a medical community which centres, listens to, and believes their patients, especially women, people with disabilities, and individuals of marginalised experience, and acts quickly to address concerns, in a person-centred way, it is perhaps necessary that a CEO is able to focus solely on the challenge, and not have to also hold their emotional awareness of the impact of a specific medical condition on them personally in check through what can become very heated and intense discourse.
Then there's the point of perspective. If you've ever visited an art gallery or museum, you'll be familiar with the way artefacts and artworks can look very different when you step back from them than they do when you're up close.
Problems work in the same way.
It's why productivity advice always tells you to take a break if you're feeling 'stuck' with a problem. Getting away from it gives you the insight of perspective, which often means you find yourself solving it very quickly once you come back to it.
Systemic problems often require long, awkward, frustrating conversations with people who not only don't have direct experience of the issue at hand - they don't even have relatable adjacent experience. They're almost on the verge of disbelief that the issue being presented to them actually exists, and they very frequently want to lay the blame for the issue, once they grudgingly accept it, with the people experiencing it. Being able to take an entirely objective, but informed by relatable insight, view of a problem may produce a more effective negotiator and advocate in those kinds of conversations.
Then there's the very simple, very real fact that endometriosis is exceptionally debilitating. It's not just "that time of the month", as many doctors can be inclined to tell those affected. It's a condition which can be exacerbated by stress, and, unfortunately, it can be seen by certain kinds of men as a "reason why women shouldn't be in high-level roles." (It can be hoped those men are fast leaving the professional arena, but hopes aren't always realised, as many of us are all too aware.)
Finally, there's a very thorny, very complex challenge, which takes us out of the discourse on disability, trans experience, and Executive-level roles, and grounds us in everyone's everyday reality:
Systemic problems often require long, awkward, frustrating conversations with people who not only don't have direct experience of the issue at hand - they don't even have relatable adjacent experience. They're almost on the verge of disbelief that the issue being presented to them actually exists, and they very frequently want to lay the blame for the issue, once they grudgingly accept it, with the people experiencing it. Being able to take an entirely objective, but informed by relatable insight, view of a problem may produce a more effective negotiator and advocate in those kinds of conversations.
Then there's the very simple, very real fact that endometriosis is exceptionally debilitating. It's not just "that time of the month", as many doctors can be inclined to tell those affected. It's a condition which can be exacerbated by stress, and, unfortunately, it can be seen by certain kinds of men as a "reason why women shouldn't be in high-level roles." (It can be hoped those men are fast leaving the professional arena, but hopes aren't always realised, as many of us are all too aware.)
Finally, there's a very thorny, very complex challenge, which takes us out of the discourse on disability, trans experience, and Executive-level roles, and grounds us in everyone's everyday reality:
If you want people who aren't you to understand your experience, you have to let them into your arena.
That leads to several questions:
. How attached are you to your particular 'problem'? Do you really want a solution to be found, or has this problem become part of your identity?
. Have you mistaken your experience of the problem for the full extent of it? For example, if you can't afford your rent or mortgage, your interpretation may be that the 'problem' is that housing is too expensive - when the real problem is "we shouldn't be charging people for the home they live in - how do we move to that position?"
. Do you really want empathy, or are you actually hoping to throw a pity party? Anyone can empathise with anyone. Empathy doesn't require that you have experienced the same situation; it simply requires that you stop thinking about yourself, and focus on the other person. I'm not Black, or a visible immigrant, but I can empathise with those impacted by racism, I can empathise with the struggle between wanting - needing, in many cases - to stand up for yourself and your community, and not wanting to add to the "perception of threat" that underlies racism. (Eg; "They're stealing our jobs!" "By 2050, white people won't even exist any more!" "There's always more aggression from the police when 'those people' are involved." "They're just so loud!" - all of those statements are rooted in a perception that something about 'whiteness' is being 'threatened' by those who are visibly non-white, and, especially, those who are Black. Other forms of racism have their own 'perceptions of threat' in operation.) I'm 37, but I can empathise both with those who are well into their physical seniority, and are facing disregard and isolation, as well as very likely significant physical decline, perhaps loss of mental faculties, whilst maintaining a sense of themselves as young, capable, and successful, and with teenagers, who feel certain they know so much more, and could do so much better, than the adults who get to run everything, but who have to put up with doing things, day in, day out, they don't like, which they may not actually be any good at, and having most or all of their lives dictated by other peoples' preferences, prejudices, and preoccupations, all whilst dealing with their brains and bodies doing wild and unsettling things.
As someone who is blind, and an unpaid carer for my wife, who has several disabilities, it actually helps me more if those who empathise with me aren't blind, or carers - because they have more emotional and cognitive bandwith to actually accept the high level of advocacy that achieving systemic change requires.
Absolutely, sometimes, you just want to snap "What do you know?! It's all alright for you, isn't it?! You don't have to deal with my life!" - but that's not a helpful reaction, and, in fact, it's quite selfish. If I demand that only those who have experienced exactly what I'm going through are involved in working to change the more significant impacts of the challenges I face, then I'm asking people who are struggling in the same ways I am struggling to take on a significant workload, on top of their challenges - both those I know about, and other, more personal ones, which I may not be aware of.
Imagine you're trying to break down rocks with a broken pickaxe, while your back is hurting, you're fighting off a cold, and you're worried about whether you'll get paid this week. Who is going to be able to help you more? Someone who also has a broken pickaxe and a bad back, or someone with no back pain, no cold, plenty of money, and several decent pickaxes?
When we let others into our experience who do not necessarily share that experience, we break down identity silos. We find not just allies, but accomplices. We get unique interpretations of problems, and different thinking styles brought to bear on them.
I'm a pessimist - but I'm happy to work on problems with optimists, and I appreciate the energy they bring, and the way our two very different energies can blend.
I'm a man - but I regularly work with women, and often find we have more in common than we do things which separate us.
I'm legally blind - but I've always worked with sighted people.
I'm an introvert - but I work with extroverts.
If I were to say that I would only work with people whose experiences I shared, I'd have a very limited client base indeed!
Have challenges, problems, or complex opportunities that you feel you could use a different perspective on?
The Productive Pessimist has the following availability:
. Tuesday 21st November - 4.30pm-8pm, remote only
. Wednesday 22nd November - 4.30pm-8pm, remote only
. Thursday 23rd - 4.30pm-8pm, remote only
. Sunday 26th - 3pm-6pm, remote only
Sessions are £50 per hour, payable on booking.
Email theproductivepessimist@yahoo.com to book:
All bookings received and paid for by 8pm Thursday 23rd November will receive a free Strategy Challenge Analysis; equally applicable to both individuals and organisations, the Strategy Challenge Analysis looks at the barriers to achieving strategic aims and goals, and how you can mitigate them, and would normally cost £15.
. How attached are you to your particular 'problem'? Do you really want a solution to be found, or has this problem become part of your identity?
. Have you mistaken your experience of the problem for the full extent of it? For example, if you can't afford your rent or mortgage, your interpretation may be that the 'problem' is that housing is too expensive - when the real problem is "we shouldn't be charging people for the home they live in - how do we move to that position?"
. Do you really want empathy, or are you actually hoping to throw a pity party? Anyone can empathise with anyone. Empathy doesn't require that you have experienced the same situation; it simply requires that you stop thinking about yourself, and focus on the other person. I'm not Black, or a visible immigrant, but I can empathise with those impacted by racism, I can empathise with the struggle between wanting - needing, in many cases - to stand up for yourself and your community, and not wanting to add to the "perception of threat" that underlies racism. (Eg; "They're stealing our jobs!" "By 2050, white people won't even exist any more!" "There's always more aggression from the police when 'those people' are involved." "They're just so loud!" - all of those statements are rooted in a perception that something about 'whiteness' is being 'threatened' by those who are visibly non-white, and, especially, those who are Black. Other forms of racism have their own 'perceptions of threat' in operation.) I'm 37, but I can empathise both with those who are well into their physical seniority, and are facing disregard and isolation, as well as very likely significant physical decline, perhaps loss of mental faculties, whilst maintaining a sense of themselves as young, capable, and successful, and with teenagers, who feel certain they know so much more, and could do so much better, than the adults who get to run everything, but who have to put up with doing things, day in, day out, they don't like, which they may not actually be any good at, and having most or all of their lives dictated by other peoples' preferences, prejudices, and preoccupations, all whilst dealing with their brains and bodies doing wild and unsettling things.
As someone who is blind, and an unpaid carer for my wife, who has several disabilities, it actually helps me more if those who empathise with me aren't blind, or carers - because they have more emotional and cognitive bandwith to actually accept the high level of advocacy that achieving systemic change requires.
Absolutely, sometimes, you just want to snap "What do you know?! It's all alright for you, isn't it?! You don't have to deal with my life!" - but that's not a helpful reaction, and, in fact, it's quite selfish. If I demand that only those who have experienced exactly what I'm going through are involved in working to change the more significant impacts of the challenges I face, then I'm asking people who are struggling in the same ways I am struggling to take on a significant workload, on top of their challenges - both those I know about, and other, more personal ones, which I may not be aware of.
Imagine you're trying to break down rocks with a broken pickaxe, while your back is hurting, you're fighting off a cold, and you're worried about whether you'll get paid this week. Who is going to be able to help you more? Someone who also has a broken pickaxe and a bad back, or someone with no back pain, no cold, plenty of money, and several decent pickaxes?
When we let others into our experience who do not necessarily share that experience, we break down identity silos. We find not just allies, but accomplices. We get unique interpretations of problems, and different thinking styles brought to bear on them.
I'm a pessimist - but I'm happy to work on problems with optimists, and I appreciate the energy they bring, and the way our two very different energies can blend.
I'm a man - but I regularly work with women, and often find we have more in common than we do things which separate us.
I'm legally blind - but I've always worked with sighted people.
I'm an introvert - but I work with extroverts.
If I were to say that I would only work with people whose experiences I shared, I'd have a very limited client base indeed!
Have challenges, problems, or complex opportunities that you feel you could use a different perspective on?
The Productive Pessimist has the following availability:
. Tuesday 21st November - 4.30pm-8pm, remote only
. Wednesday 22nd November - 4.30pm-8pm, remote only
. Thursday 23rd - 4.30pm-8pm, remote only
. Sunday 26th - 3pm-6pm, remote only
Sessions are £50 per hour, payable on booking.
Email theproductivepessimist@yahoo.com to book:
All bookings received and paid for by 8pm Thursday 23rd November will receive a free Strategy Challenge Analysis; equally applicable to both individuals and organisations, the Strategy Challenge Analysis looks at the barriers to achieving strategic aims and goals, and how you can mitigate them, and would normally cost £15.
Comments
Post a Comment