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Showing posts from June, 2025

Forget Retirement Planning, and Turn to Honour Planning

  The current trend of advice and focus, particularly financial advice and focus, is "sacrifice, go all in on work, work, work, save and invest through your 20s and 30s, which is the best decades of your life  for compound growth! so you can have an absolutely amazing retirement, with enough money to do everything you want, and not worry  about money, because there won't be social security!" This feeds into a wider toxic focus of positioning work as "the thing that exists in opposition to the life we deserve  to live."  In reality, work is part of  life.  Retirement  is actually the thing that exists in opposition to life. The vision that's being sold is "if you sacrifice all fun and socialising, and just grind through your 20s and 30s, you'll get to have this wonderful, rewarding retirement" - but the reality is, many of us will not be in good enough health by the time we reach our 60s or 70s to actually do  much of anything.  Many of u...

What Your Boss (and HR) Say When They Think You're Not In the Room

  Today, I attended a webinar on "Capability and Ill-health in the Workplace".  It was hosted by a corporate insurer who provides HR consultancy services. Those attending were business leaders and HR representatives, and the Q&A at the end made it clear they believed they were only in a "room" with other  leaders and HR reps. Their attitudes around long-term ill health and disability were immediately presented as: . This is an intolerable and ridiculous burden to us as employers . This is too expensive . These people are taking the piss . It's not going to be fair to able-bodied people who have to pick up their slack. This is also the attitude I've personally, directly  encountered as someone trying to work whilst also being disabled.  It's the attitude that lost me my last job - a job I mostly enjoyed, and a role I'd hoped to build a career from. Employers. HATE. Disabled. And. Chronically. Ill.  Employees. They do not  want to employ disabled p...

How to Help When It's Men Who Are Harmed

  Recently, my regional newspaper carried an article which cited that 25% of domestic violence victims are men. That article was discussing a wider situation of a DV incident involving a same-sex male couple, which will immediately allow some people to claim that "See?! It's all still just violent men!" Except, that 25% will be an understatement, because men are often focused on what is practical, and, in the UK, it's not practical to report domestic violence when you're a male victim. Firstly, there are almost no  refuges or support groups for men. (And, with support groups, especially online ones, when men set them up, they very quickly get inundated with women demanding access, because "something" about any of the hundreds of resources for women "doesn't appeal" to the women demanding access to spaces intended for men - when those same women would be outraged if men tried to access women's spaces with the "justification" of...

With Pride

  We enter Pride Month at a time when global LGBTQIA+ rights are under direct, immediate attack, including in developed Western countries - which has not been the case, on a systemic level, for many years.  For some younger LGBTQIA+ Western people, they have never in their lifetime   known a situation where, systemically, at a legal level, they have not had  rights as a default position. It feels frightening - even when you have  lived through being LGBTQIA+ without rights, or without the level of rights younger Western people have been able to assume were "just naturally there." It actually is  frightening. It is terrifying when your government directly positions itself in opposition to your ability to safely exist as yourself in the world. And LGBTQIA+ people have to exist in the world. Including non-passing trans people. Including very butch Sapphic women, and very femme gay men. Including people who are visibly intersex. Including polyamorous people who...