We've Become Too Comfortable With Weakness

 

"Remember; January is still winter! It's unnatural to be making changes and starting things! The world is telling us to be cosy in bed and rest!" I've been seeing this a lot in the past few days, when it hasn't been present in past years as an anti-New Year's Resolution; previously, the counter to "new year, new me" was simply "Hey, if you don't want to make any resolutions or changes, that's cool, you can look back on the things you're proud of, and want to carry on doing." I'm much more in favour of the latter position than the former. The former position, that we just can't possibly be expected to do anything at this time of year, and people are literally being abusive sadists for expecting us to manage basic adult responsibilities "because still winter! Waaaahhhh!!!" Yes, January 1st is an arbitrary date to start a year. But so is February 2nd, March 31st, or the fifty-nevernth of July. Not all animals hibernate. Humans are a rare kind of animal that can add layers to its fur, and gets to live with central heating that we can control literally at the touch of a button, in most cases. There is no need for us to hibernate - we have access to a multitude of ways to counter a metabolic slow down. This howling about how capitalist and ridiculous it is to "expect" people to do anything in January - when all you're being "expected" to do is show up for responsibilities you agreed to, and are paid for, and maybe take a tiny sliver of responsibility for planning what you need to do to have the year you want - you're free to act on those plans whenever the hell you like - is a symptom of a wider problem, which really kicked off in 2025; a dangerous comfort with weakness. 

This is a comfort with weakness, rather than a genuine recognition of any kind of enduring, natural-order reality, because the people who are centring "nature is demanding that we rest!" are ordering food deliveries the minute the weather is a little unpalatable, or they feel slightly "overstimulated" - they get to yield to "nature's demand to rest", but gig economy delivery drivers, retail workers, food service workers, do not. That's not "natural responsiveness", it's comfort with weakness that is already inconsiderate, and verging on outright selfishness. Comfort with weakness isn't just seen in anti-New Year content though. It's been loitering around for a few months, at least, and includes attitudes such as insisting that "jobs aren't even paying people enough to survive, so what's the point in working?", whilst refusing to do a single thing to move away from minimum wage jobs in food service and hospitality - which, realistically, are for those who already have a decent income, either from a partner or spouse's job, or because they are prioritising a self-employed focus, for which they need a minimal dependable income to enable them to buy tools, attend events, market their work, and take calculated risks to boost their business. I have managed to live independently on minimum wage, and on not much more than the minimum wage. This has meant doing without things I wanted, it has meant delaying gratification, it has meant some ruthless prioritising in my life - but I have always managed to cover my core living needs. I don't live in America, which certainly helps - the issue for Americans isn't the minimum wage, it's the health insurance system. I'm not a politician, I don't run an insurance company; I don't know what a viable method of surviving the genuine insane greed of insurance companies might be, beyond looking into what it would take to get into jobs with gold-edged health insurance, and rigorously pursuing that; as a disabled person myself, I know that isn't always feasible for people with disabilities, those managing kinship care responsibilities, and those without family financial support behind them (I tick all three of those boxes, so I genuinely do understand.) I have never house-shared, at least not until I married my wife (her disabilities mean she can't work, so I have to support two disabled adults on one income). I've been reliant on public transport, and its unpredictable costs, for 20yrs, owing to medical impacts which prevent me legally being able to hold a driving licence. I also don't have children; while I recognise that also helps with affordability, having children is a choice; I made the choice not to pursue parenthood in part because I can't rely on ever having more than a minimum wage income, and, having grown up in what is now called "working poverty", I would never place a child in that situation. Yes, things are more challenging around pregnancies that result from r*pe in America now, but those are the very small minority of ways people who can't really afford children end up with them. Yes, I'm sure there are plenty of men who are aggressive, wheedling, coercive, etc around "getting to have" unprotected s*x with their uterus-owning partners...But that's another aspect of the comfort with weakness; the idea that, because it's "scary" to say "no" to someone who might become v*olent in response, women should never have to use their words, should never have to take actions like moving out of state, changing their phone number, changing their socials, stopping posting their image online to just get out of the remit and reach of an a-hole. Yes, those things are difficult things. They are exceptionally challenging to engage in. But that's life. I know men, personally, who have ab*sive female ex-partners; those men aren't mewling that they "can't" leave those partners - they left. Several of them left with children they are now single parents to. In every case, those men completely changed their lives, including their employment, to be away from their exes, and, for the single fathers, present but also able to financially provide for their children. It wasn't easy - but they did it. And these were not wealthy men. Two of them were left with absolutely nothing to their name. But they still made the moves they needed to. You can say "No." You can walk away. You can survive. It won't be easy, but acting as though your "only" choice is to give in to a man who wants to have unprotected s*x with you, and then oh, lookit that, 'Murica is so trash you have to carry the pregnancy to term, so everything just happens to you, and you have no control over anything, is not going to help you get the life you want and deserve. And it's a huge symptom of being too comfortable with weakness. Biological reductionism is unscientific. It is unproven. It is bs. You are not "just a girl" - you are capable of making hard decisions, living raw, and doing what has to be done. You are capable of being objectionable, uncompliant, and "not nice." But it's not just women who are becoming too comfortable with weakness. (And, in fact, I wonder how many of those pouting, sulking "but winter tho!" social media accounts that feature feminine branding actually are being run by human women...because there's a lot to be gained by men if society believes women just "naturally" have no resilience, and can't handle normal adult life without acting like very young children...) Men are also too comfortable with weakness - they just show it differently. Femininity talks about "nature" and "the rhythms of the analogue world", about "biological seasons"; masculinity talks about "wealth building", about "the value of your time", about "locking in." Locking in may sound like the opposite of being too comfortable with weakness, but what it actually does is discharges the responsibility of holding your own boundaries, and ensures you never have to be flexible, or able to cope with unplanned interruptions. Other people have to walk on eggshells around your workouts, the mental load of your bulk/cut cycle, your trading patterns, the market openings, yadda, yadda - you make yourself weak by never actually learning to cope with stopping what you're doing, attending with equal focus to whatever the interruption is, and then calmly and cleanly returning to what you were doing before. By never learning how to include discipline in a normal life.

Men have been among the first to rush to generative AI for the most basic things - "write me a grocery list", "suggest an app I could then ask you to build for me", "give me inspiration for business ideas", "write this email for me", and are also the loudest in defence of "it absolutely is art, tho!" (It might be - conceptual art exists, highly paid "artists" are getting interns to actually do the art, digital art had a lot of arguments about it, I still pick up occasional "Is is really 'art' if it's just an unedited photograph?" rumblings... Maybe the ability to give a solid prompt that gets you the outcome you wanted first time is a kind of art - I don't support generative AI as it's mass-market used because its environmental impact far outstrips any real benefit it offers in the mass-market sphere, and I feel that, with everyday humans in everyday lives, AI as a whole is part of our becoming too comfortable with weakness. You should know how to adjust your tone. You should be able to use appropriate grammar if you're writing in your native language and do not have cognitive impairment, or a condition like dyslexia.)

Weakness isn't rest. Rest is absolutely necessary, and important to our working effectively and consistently. And weakness can feel like rest - but it isn't, and fully accepting that is vital, especially as 2026 shapes up to be a very challenging year on a geopolitical level, at the very least. Rest gives you the strength to go back to doing the hard things, the work you don't want to do, the challenges that terrify you. Rest energises you.

Weakness exhausts you, and keeps you believing you "just can't" face perfectly ordinary things - like the fact that, in the West, the year starts on January 1st, and there will be adult responsibilities which you need to deal with, middle of winter notwithstanding.