Life being stressful isn't an illness. That's entirely correct.
But "life being stressful" also isn't acceptable to employers, either. It's not going to be the case, in the UK, in 2025, that if people "just stop going to doctors and claiming mental health issues and getting signed off because life is a bit hard, then we wouldn't be spending so much on welfare!"
. "People don't like you"
. "You're impacting your colleagues' morale"
. "It's unfair of you to make your colleagues worry about you by being clearly upset"
. "You can't talk about feeling burnt out when there are people dealing with far higher workloads than you - everyone is burnt out, but we have to keep going"
. "If you aren't happy to be here, f-k off and get a different job"
. "I'm sick of you coming in here looking like you want to k*ll yourself - why don't you just f-king do it, so the rest of us don't have to put up with your negativity?"
These are all comments I've received directly from managers (both male and female) whilst I was showing up, doing not just my job, but also covering for colleagues who were disorganised, unprepared, outright lazy, on annual leave, or legitimately off long-term sick, with diagnosed, severe clinical depression.
I've gone into work the day after a failed suicide attempt.
I've gone into work after a night of insomnia and repeated panic attacks.
I've gone into work when I've been shaking and crying right up until two seconds before I walked through the door.
I now manage my depression and schizophrenia through naturopathy, which I'm formally qualified in, combined with accessible therapeutic methods (journalling, with DBT awareness); the full-spectrum naturopathy I use includes:
. Diet prioritising zinc, B vitamins, & slow burn foods: This looks like unsalted nuts, red meat (I prioritise game meat such as venison, duck, and rabbit), fish, mushrooms, tomatoes, bananas, pears, mango, wild rices, pulses, oats, & seeds. I use smoothies for "leafy greens", as I also have chronic IBS, which is made worse by high natural fibre, & I'm highly sensitive to folates; I'm currently considering fibre supplements, as I have begun noticing physical health issues which may indicate a deficiency of fibre.
. Daily exercise which forces mindfulness, & supports flexibility & strength: Weight training at moderate intensity, calisthenics, walking (daily, anything from 30mins-2hrs) . Exercise 3x per week which speeds up heart rate & improves aerobic health: Kickboxing & Zumba . Elemental therapy: Cooler temperatures, rougher surface textures, & a sense of weighted pressure are most helpful for my mental health; however, I have to be aware of not getting too cold, as this triggers my IBS; I tend to achieve this indoors by not turning central heating on, often having windows open, whilst being covered by a range of blankets, of different textures and weights, and outside through open-water swimming, beach walks, bodyboarding, & sitting/walking barefoot on stones/pebbles. . Supplements: I use creatine to help with insomnia, and vitamin D; previously, I've had to take high-dose B12 and non-THC CBD (I'm allergic to THC) to mitigate mental health impacts, and I'm conscious that those are supplements I may have to return to in the future, though, currently, my symptoms are "neutral" - that doesn't mean I'm "better" or even "well"; it means that the impact my symptoms are having are manageable without additional support/suppression. . Lifestyle: Having a routine - bed at X time, wake at Y time. Exercise mid morning & early evening. Meals at XYZ time. Meditation & journalling 1hr before settling for sleep, creatine taken just before starting journalling/meditation. Avoiding unnecessary arguments. Working with background music - this helps mitigate phantom voices, intrusive thoughts, and paranoia triggered by sounds as common as emergency sirens and helicopters. The Day to Day Impacts:
But "life being stressful" also isn't acceptable to employers, either. It's not going to be the case, in the UK, in 2025, that if people "just stop going to doctors and claiming mental health issues and getting signed off because life is a bit hard, then we wouldn't be spending so much on welfare!"
. "People don't like you"
. "You're impacting your colleagues' morale"
. "It's unfair of you to make your colleagues worry about you by being clearly upset"
. "You can't talk about feeling burnt out when there are people dealing with far higher workloads than you - everyone is burnt out, but we have to keep going"
. "If you aren't happy to be here, f-k off and get a different job"
. "I'm sick of you coming in here looking like you want to k*ll yourself - why don't you just f-king do it, so the rest of us don't have to put up with your negativity?"
These are all comments I've received directly from managers (both male and female) whilst I was showing up, doing not just my job, but also covering for colleagues who were disorganised, unprepared, outright lazy, on annual leave, or legitimately off long-term sick, with diagnosed, severe clinical depression.
I've gone into work the day after a failed suicide attempt.
I've gone into work after a night of insomnia and repeated panic attacks.
I've gone into work when I've been shaking and crying right up until two seconds before I walked through the door.
I now manage my depression and schizophrenia through naturopathy, which I'm formally qualified in, combined with accessible therapeutic methods (journalling, with DBT awareness); the full-spectrum naturopathy I use includes:
. Diet prioritising zinc, B vitamins, & slow burn foods: This looks like unsalted nuts, red meat (I prioritise game meat such as venison, duck, and rabbit), fish, mushrooms, tomatoes, bananas, pears, mango, wild rices, pulses, oats, & seeds. I use smoothies for "leafy greens", as I also have chronic IBS, which is made worse by high natural fibre, & I'm highly sensitive to folates; I'm currently considering fibre supplements, as I have begun noticing physical health issues which may indicate a deficiency of fibre.
. Daily exercise which forces mindfulness, & supports flexibility & strength: Weight training at moderate intensity, calisthenics, walking (daily, anything from 30mins-2hrs) . Exercise 3x per week which speeds up heart rate & improves aerobic health: Kickboxing & Zumba . Elemental therapy: Cooler temperatures, rougher surface textures, & a sense of weighted pressure are most helpful for my mental health; however, I have to be aware of not getting too cold, as this triggers my IBS; I tend to achieve this indoors by not turning central heating on, often having windows open, whilst being covered by a range of blankets, of different textures and weights, and outside through open-water swimming, beach walks, bodyboarding, & sitting/walking barefoot on stones/pebbles. . Supplements: I use creatine to help with insomnia, and vitamin D; previously, I've had to take high-dose B12 and non-THC CBD (I'm allergic to THC) to mitigate mental health impacts, and I'm conscious that those are supplements I may have to return to in the future, though, currently, my symptoms are "neutral" - that doesn't mean I'm "better" or even "well"; it means that the impact my symptoms are having are manageable without additional support/suppression. . Lifestyle: Having a routine - bed at X time, wake at Y time. Exercise mid morning & early evening. Meals at XYZ time. Meditation & journalling 1hr before settling for sleep, creatine taken just before starting journalling/meditation. Avoiding unnecessary arguments. Working with background music - this helps mitigate phantom voices, intrusive thoughts, and paranoia triggered by sounds as common as emergency sirens and helicopters. The Day to Day Impacts:
My schizophrenia involves paranoia, intrusive thoughts (think: punching my spouse, throwing her down the stairs, throwing myself down the stairs, making myself homeless and living in a local park, cutting my chest open "because I think I'm dead, but if I can watch my heart beating, then I'll know I'm not dead", and hitting myself with a hammer...not "dying my hair an unnatural colour" or "acting like a brat in public.")
My depression involves frequent suicidal ideation, I have had several "close calls" with ending my life, and have made two serious attempts. It also includes persistent low mood - which sounds fairly unremarkable, doesn't it? Everyone feels down most of the time, especially in the UK in 2025. It'd be weird if you didn't have "persistent low mood."
But what it actually plays out like is:
- Genuinely great days feel like relief, not joy, enthusiasm, etc.
- Praise makes me believe that people are being insincere, and that I'm being "set up" for a public humiliation down the line.
- I don't look forward to anything - literally, even plans I choose make me feel overwhelmed, anxious, and send me into a spiral of sadness and anxiety.
- Achievements don't create good feelings, a sense of pride, etc - I'm relieved whatever it is is over, and it feels "not worth" mentioning or celebrating before I move on to the next thing I have to do.
- Moral scrupulosity - I believe that literally everything that goes wrong for people and in situations that I'm connected to is "my fault", that if something bad happens to me, it's "punishment" for "something" I've done wrong (this includes things as natural as a pet dying from old age, or someone close to me becoming ill.)
It also means I will second-guess myself out of believing I'm eligible for any opportunities - I might be financially struggling, but I'm not homeless. I might be a trans man, but I'm completely cis passing. I might be disabled (legally blind), but it's only obvious if I go out with my white cane/try and read something/have to navigate a busy or unfamiliar on my own, so it's not a real disability. I might have diagnosed depression and schizophrenia that I've previously been on high-dose prescription meds for - I'm not a psychiatric inpatient (although I have been), and I haven't died by suicide (although I've tried to.) I might be a spousal carer, but my wife isn't dependent on me for hygiene care, she can manage some things on her own, she can go out and about independently, it's not like she's in a wheelchair. I may well have grown up with a dysfunctional mother, a father in factory work, who had two spells of unemployment, and have spent two years of my childhood without carpets or central heating, and, age 13, had a bank manager force me to sign away my rights to any inheritance if my parents died in the next five years, but plenty of people don't even have the prospect of inheritance...plenty of people don't have fathers who are present in their lives, so I'm not really working class...
- Belief that everyone actually hates me, and is just waiting for me to screw up/annoy them - this makes it really difficult for me to ask for help, resources, or support, or even take steps towards self-promotion.
My life is beyond stressful right now.
In the past 4 years, I've had to come to terms with losing my sight,
whilst still dealing with high-impact mental health issues, and the demands of spousal care. I've been struggling financially, which has left me unable to afford major structural repairs to my home, which my home insurance refuse to cover. I've lost two jobs in the past two years specifically because of my sight loss, with both also bringing in my "mental health" as a contributing factor. I'm currently working a part-time, freelance gig which will end in December 2026; I have no trust or certainty that I'll be able to get another job after that point, & this is causing me to be planning for "logical suicide" - right now, I don't actually want to kill myself, but the reality is it may turn out to be the only viable option. I'm a disabled trans person with mental health challenges, supporting another disabled trans person, in the face of the current government (and, in the case of my being trans, through 14 years of the previous government), and the very real threat of a pro-Russian, anti-anyone-who-isn't-them, extremely right wing government winning the next election. I'm not claiming I'm "too ill to work because life is stressful". I've consistently worked, or actively seeking work, despite all of the considerable stress of life I'm having to face with literally no support or resources. I've had employers tell me they don't think I'm "well enough" to work. I've had them cite my mental illnesses when they've terminated my employment "because your sight loss means you can't fulfil the business needs." I don't disclose my depression, schizophrenia, or trans status to employers - ever. It's a stupid idea to do that, because it'll just result in "thanks, but no thanks", because assumptions and prejudice are very real in the UK in 2025. However, my depression and schizophrenia are also very real, and their impacts and symptoms don't conveniently wait until outside of working hours to cause a problem. Do I feel that, sometimes, people make a bit of a drama out of perfectly ordinary life frustrations? Yes - but then I have no way of knowing what they're dealing with in the background, what support they've got in their lives, and how impactful this ordinary life frustration actually is for them - for instance, if Jeff Bezos lost £100, he probably wouldn't even notice; I would be panicking about how I was going to afford bills and groceries. If someone who can drive gets an interview invitation for the next day, they're fine. They can get up at their normal time, get in their car, and cruise up to the interview; if it's chucking it down with rain, they can just chuck a brolly in the boot, and cover their nice interview clothes as they dash from door to door. If I get an interview for the next day? I might not be able to afford to get there in the first place. (My local area doesn't accept disabled bus passes before 9.30am; even if the interview is "only" in the next town, I can't be there before 10.30am without paying bus fare.) I might have to hope charity shops have a clean shirt in my size (we would have to remodel our kitchen to fit in a washing machine, which we can't afford to do; this means everything has to be handwashed; we can't always afford to use the tumble drier, as our electric is prepayment - getting a shirt from a charity shop is cheaper than either topping up enough electric to use the tumble drier if the balance is low, or going to the laundrette with several shirts.) I might not have any means of getting to the interview for the time requested at all. If it's raining? I turn up soaked. It's not relevant to this post to talk about the sheer number of UK employers who don't even want to know about you if you don't have a driving licence - my sight loss means I'm medically banned. Many people would be able to work whilst managing mental health challenges if remote work were more widely available, and more consistently actually remote, rather than "actually, it's hybrid, with a minimum 3 days per week in the office", or "work exactly the same as you would in the office, with exactly the same level of micromangement and harassment, over the exact same hours you would if you were in office, just from home." However, it's worth people being aware that there are over 1million more unemployed people than there are jobs for them to actually go and do. UK unemployment stands at 1.79million. There are only 723,000 unfilled vacancies. So...what should be being done? . Businesses paying for set "piece work", completed to a deadline and a standard, rather than merely "being present for 8-12hrs". . Social media sites paying for all content, and exclusively recruiting for specific types of content from UK contributors via the network of Jobcentre Plus offices. . The UK government exclusively using Jobcentre Plus to recruit freelancers for project-centric work. . Funding for the non-profit sector changing to facilitate non-profits being more readily able to pay people, rather than relying on volunteers. . The DWP provides full financial, logistic, and professional mentorship to facilitate claimants transitioning into manageable, financially viable self-employment. . Welfare reform centring on providing a genuine "universal" income - cap all benefits total to £2,000 per household. Including housing benefit. This would force private sector rents down, it would force social housing providers to have a wider tolerance for the kinds of tenants they prioritise, it would force empty housing to be more rapidly compelled back into use, it would demand more social housing be built. It might make people be more honest about whether they can actually work. It might give British business the kick up the backside it needs to actually start creating jobs. (That gap between the number of jobs that are actually available, and the number of people needing a job...) It might make people from other countries reconsider moving here, it might make British nationals think a bit more about where they choose to live in the country, it might make people more aware that they can't just kick their kids out at 18, it might make people think about how many kids they decide to have. Before people kick off: I've always been the sole income earner for my household. I've never had a take home of more than £1,623 a month. No, I don't have kids - but condoms exist. Not having penetrative intimacy is an option. The morning after pill exists. And I'm disabled, and supporting a disabled spouse - it absolutely is possible to live on £2,000 a month. For people with disabilities which necessitate expenses such as specialist equipment/aids, supplements and medications which aren't available on prescription, proof of those expenses, on an annual basis, should release the full amount of Access to Work funds directly to those people each year, to spend according to their needs, with the requirement to submit quarterly receipts. If you'd like to book me for speaking or freelance work (UK only), I need a 72hrs notice minimum, may require expenses upfront, and can be contacted by email at theproductivepessimist@yahoo.com
whilst still dealing with high-impact mental health issues, and the demands of spousal care. I've been struggling financially, which has left me unable to afford major structural repairs to my home, which my home insurance refuse to cover. I've lost two jobs in the past two years specifically because of my sight loss, with both also bringing in my "mental health" as a contributing factor. I'm currently working a part-time, freelance gig which will end in December 2026; I have no trust or certainty that I'll be able to get another job after that point, & this is causing me to be planning for "logical suicide" - right now, I don't actually want to kill myself, but the reality is it may turn out to be the only viable option. I'm a disabled trans person with mental health challenges, supporting another disabled trans person, in the face of the current government (and, in the case of my being trans, through 14 years of the previous government), and the very real threat of a pro-Russian, anti-anyone-who-isn't-them, extremely right wing government winning the next election. I'm not claiming I'm "too ill to work because life is stressful". I've consistently worked, or actively seeking work, despite all of the considerable stress of life I'm having to face with literally no support or resources. I've had employers tell me they don't think I'm "well enough" to work. I've had them cite my mental illnesses when they've terminated my employment "because your sight loss means you can't fulfil the business needs." I don't disclose my depression, schizophrenia, or trans status to employers - ever. It's a stupid idea to do that, because it'll just result in "thanks, but no thanks", because assumptions and prejudice are very real in the UK in 2025. However, my depression and schizophrenia are also very real, and their impacts and symptoms don't conveniently wait until outside of working hours to cause a problem. Do I feel that, sometimes, people make a bit of a drama out of perfectly ordinary life frustrations? Yes - but then I have no way of knowing what they're dealing with in the background, what support they've got in their lives, and how impactful this ordinary life frustration actually is for them - for instance, if Jeff Bezos lost £100, he probably wouldn't even notice; I would be panicking about how I was going to afford bills and groceries. If someone who can drive gets an interview invitation for the next day, they're fine. They can get up at their normal time, get in their car, and cruise up to the interview; if it's chucking it down with rain, they can just chuck a brolly in the boot, and cover their nice interview clothes as they dash from door to door. If I get an interview for the next day? I might not be able to afford to get there in the first place. (My local area doesn't accept disabled bus passes before 9.30am; even if the interview is "only" in the next town, I can't be there before 10.30am without paying bus fare.) I might have to hope charity shops have a clean shirt in my size (we would have to remodel our kitchen to fit in a washing machine, which we can't afford to do; this means everything has to be handwashed; we can't always afford to use the tumble drier, as our electric is prepayment - getting a shirt from a charity shop is cheaper than either topping up enough electric to use the tumble drier if the balance is low, or going to the laundrette with several shirts.) I might not have any means of getting to the interview for the time requested at all. If it's raining? I turn up soaked. It's not relevant to this post to talk about the sheer number of UK employers who don't even want to know about you if you don't have a driving licence - my sight loss means I'm medically banned. Many people would be able to work whilst managing mental health challenges if remote work were more widely available, and more consistently actually remote, rather than "actually, it's hybrid, with a minimum 3 days per week in the office", or "work exactly the same as you would in the office, with exactly the same level of micromangement and harassment, over the exact same hours you would if you were in office, just from home." However, it's worth people being aware that there are over 1million more unemployed people than there are jobs for them to actually go and do. UK unemployment stands at 1.79million. There are only 723,000 unfilled vacancies. So...what should be being done? . Businesses paying for set "piece work", completed to a deadline and a standard, rather than merely "being present for 8-12hrs". . Social media sites paying for all content, and exclusively recruiting for specific types of content from UK contributors via the network of Jobcentre Plus offices. . The UK government exclusively using Jobcentre Plus to recruit freelancers for project-centric work. . Funding for the non-profit sector changing to facilitate non-profits being more readily able to pay people, rather than relying on volunteers. . The DWP provides full financial, logistic, and professional mentorship to facilitate claimants transitioning into manageable, financially viable self-employment. . Welfare reform centring on providing a genuine "universal" income - cap all benefits total to £2,000 per household. Including housing benefit. This would force private sector rents down, it would force social housing providers to have a wider tolerance for the kinds of tenants they prioritise, it would force empty housing to be more rapidly compelled back into use, it would demand more social housing be built. It might make people be more honest about whether they can actually work. It might give British business the kick up the backside it needs to actually start creating jobs. (That gap between the number of jobs that are actually available, and the number of people needing a job...) It might make people from other countries reconsider moving here, it might make British nationals think a bit more about where they choose to live in the country, it might make people more aware that they can't just kick their kids out at 18, it might make people think about how many kids they decide to have. Before people kick off: I've always been the sole income earner for my household. I've never had a take home of more than £1,623 a month. No, I don't have kids - but condoms exist. Not having penetrative intimacy is an option. The morning after pill exists. And I'm disabled, and supporting a disabled spouse - it absolutely is possible to live on £2,000 a month. For people with disabilities which necessitate expenses such as specialist equipment/aids, supplements and medications which aren't available on prescription, proof of those expenses, on an annual basis, should release the full amount of Access to Work funds directly to those people each year, to spend according to their needs, with the requirement to submit quarterly receipts. If you'd like to book me for speaking or freelance work (UK only), I need a 72hrs notice minimum, may require expenses upfront, and can be contacted by email at theproductivepessimist@yahoo.com
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